Riding the Rails

My next bright idea was to take the Auto Train to Florida instead of driving. The longest solo road trip I've done with the kids is 600 miles, and that distance took an entire day. It is doable, but I was a bit leery of an overnight stop with 3 kids at a highway hotel. When I found out about the Auto Train, I was thrilled. Amtrak loads up your car, and then they transport you and your vehicle to Sanford, FL overnight. Meals are included, as are snacks, soft drinks, wine and movies. And the best part is that someone else is driving the 900 miles. All for about the same cost as a hotel, gas and meals if I drove myself. Sold!

We arrived at the station around 12:30 for a 2:30 boarding time, and we killed time watching them load cars, making lots of trips to the bathrooms (with 3 kids, someone always needs to go!) and playing on the tiny playground.

Once on board the train, Chris and Caitlyn quickly settled in with their video games. Caitlyn got a Leapster 2 as an early birthday present, and so far, it is working out great for long trips. I gotta say, as much as I hate how technology is taking over her generation, it was nice to have the two of them occupied.

Lorelei, on the other hand, was an absolute bear! She woke up at 6:30 that morning, and did not take a nap at all. The combination of no nap, new molars and a delay that kept us from departing for 2.5 hours after our scheduled 4 pm departure made for one cranky kid. I felt bad for her, but at least all the passengers were informed that since the train was half empty, we could move anywhere we liked. Unfortunately, the lady behind us preferred to stay put and just complain about the whining. I wanted to turn around and tell her, "Look, woman. The conductor said you could move to any car you want to. Me? I'm her mom, so I'm stuck here, but why don't you take your complaints and get out of here? I'm doing everything I can!"

5 pm rolled around, and even though we weren't rolling anywhere, we were still able to head to the dining car for dinner. I was surprised at the quality of the food. It wasn't great, but it was comparable to Applebee's. And the complimentary carafe of white wine on our table took the edge off my worn-thin nerves that resulted from trying to console Miss Grumpy for 4 hours. The kids all perked up with their chicken tenders, mac and cheese and veggies, and they even consented to try wax beans with the result being that they like them!


After dinner, we tromped back to our seats, and lo and behold, the train began to move!! As we left the station, Lorelei cheered and shouted, "Mickey!!! Coming!!!" Chris didn't talk since he was engrossed in his game, and Caitlyn stood at the window and solemnly waved, "Good-bye, Virginia. I love you, and I'll miss you until July." Great excitement over seeing Belle ensued once I reminded her that Disney lay at the other end of the track.

Around 7, Lorelei hit full scale tantrum mode. She was utterly inconsolable, and I resorted to holding her tightly against me as I rocked and swayed with the train. We stood up and walked a bit, and slowly her screams quieted into the sobbing hiccup cries of a baby who has worn herself out. Blissfully, after nearly an hour of screaming while most of our car was at the 7pm dinner, she fell asleep in my tingling, sleepy arms. I carefully laid her down, and she slept soundly until 4 am, when she woke up for a few brief minutes of toddler conversation.

Chris and Caitlyn fell asleep around 9 pm, stretched out across 2 seats apiece. I curled around the bit of our row that Lorelei left and was able to sleep for about an hour at a time. The mama bear instinct would not let me sleep too soundly due to the fear of strangers snatching my kids from their chairs, though where they would go on a moving train in the middle of the night, I don't know. Then again, the constant waking might have had more to do with the fact that it is hard to get too comfortable when the two semi-reclined positions I had available to me either put my legs to sleep or placed hard metal directly into the small of my back. Maybe next time, I'll spring for a sleeper car.

The next morning brought an early wake-up and continental breakfast in the dining car. Since we were going to be 2.5 hours late arriving, the kids and I got to watch a movie in the lounge, and the girls colored some gorgeous works of art with the awesome princess crayons our friend, Jenny, brought them for the trip.
When we finally pulled into the Sanford, FL station, we were all more than ready to put our train adventure behind us! We clambered down from the car and shuffled into a hot, crowded waiting room to watch for our vehicle. Apparently, karma felt I needed a break after the long prior day with Lorelei because our car was one of the first 20 or so off the train! In no time, we were headed down the road to Orlando, where Mickey and pals await our crew.

Next up--junky plastic Disney toys, dining with dinos and our steal of a deal on lodging!

Mission: Insanity

Back in December, as I was planning the summer (and yes, I plan excessively early. Big deal!), I got the bright idea to take the kids to Disney World while Jason was studying for the bar exam. I figured things could either be hectic and crazy at home, or things could be hectic and crazy at the happiest place on Earth.

And folks, "crazy" is the operative word here. Who, in their right mind takes 3 kids to Disney World for a week by herself?

Ahem. ME!!

Yes, I've tackled NYC with two toddlers, I've hiked miles with a baby strapped to my back, and I've camped in the back country when it was so cold my toothpaste froze (sans kids), but I felt the need to up the ante for Summer 2010--the summer in which Jason is glued to the library for 20 hours a day! This is the summer of the insane Disney trip a la me.

Down to the nitty-gritty:
Who will be there?
Me--the nutty mama who loves to travel and is always up for a challenge. Loves Disney magic, planning and playing with the kids. Cries when she walks down Main Street and is a total sucker for Disney marketing genius. Hates delays, changes to the plan (ha!!) and whining. Must have a glass of wine in the evening and yummy food.

Chris- almost 8. Loves playing video games, teasing his sisters, eating fun kid food and knowing the answer. Grins when you mention Mickey and is a sucker for a swimming pool. Hates walking, heat, waiting and big rides. Must have a sword or weapon at all times and tends to be a bit whiney.

Caitlyn- turning 4 on the trip. Loves princesses, pretending, Dumbo and Belle. In awe of the castle and dances when you mention Disney. Hates being teased, boat rides with drops and meat ( a new revelation). Must have her pin necklace and "dark ride" flashlight and is always ready to jump into a princess pose.

Lorelei- almost 2. Loves shrieking, her brother and sister, eating and any sort of thrill. Likes to run, hop, dance, skip away from Mama while giggling. Hates being restrained, told "no," and being left out. Must have anything and everything the big kids have.

Oh, and Grammie. I talked her into joining us by using words like "special," "fun," "memorable," and "magical." I just left out words like "tantrum," "crowded," "exhausting," and "insanity." She'll forgive me.

Grammie loves Belle, seeing the kids, Disney magic and Pina Colavas. Rides Splash Mountain even though she detests the drop. Hates whining, clutter and junky plastic toys. Must have a cute bag for the park (she bought *another* new one) and requisite amount of protein in her system at all times.


The plan:
Spend 5 days solo in Orlando before Grammie joins us. Take the kids to water parks, Downtown Disney, Campfire Sing-a-long, movies, Disney Quest and Sea World before Grammie gets here. Once Grammie arrives, start hitting the major theme parks as we switch from a condo to a Disney resort. Celebrate Caitlyn's birthday. Resist the urge to splurge on Discovery Cove tickets. Eat out a lot. Drive to Houston.

Hmm, sounds exciting, right? Fun? Nuts? Scary? Sure to be full of interesting stories? Probably all of those!

I'm going to try to update frequently since Jason is feeling left out back in Virginia. Plus, when I'm carted off to the funny farm, it will be nice to have a record of how I got there.

Next up? 3 kids and 1 Mama take the train from VA to FL . . . or, A Saga of 4 hour delays, the child who didn't nap for 12 hours, how to clear a train car and other tales of mayhem and hilarity. Stay tuned.

The View from the Backseat

We do a lot of things a bit differently, and some of those things certainly raise eyebrows among friends and family. Not that it matters to me, since we make what we think are the best, safest choices for our babies, but one choice in particular seems to garner a LOT of public opinion, so I thought I'd explain it here.

Our kids are extended rear-facers when it comes to car seats. Shocked that can cause a lot of talk? Kids facing backwards in a car seat past the typical age of 1? Really? Yes, actually--it seems that many people think that it is dangerous, strange and something they absolutely must comment on (even random strangers in the grocery store parking lot like to tell us our car seats are installed incorrectly).

First, I guess I should put some numbers out there. The old advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics was that babies could be turned forward-facing at one year AND 20 pounds (which, unfortunately some people misread to mean OR and turned babies at less than a year, but who weighed 20 lbs.) The new advice from the AAP is that if "a car safety seat accommodates children rear facing to higher weights, for optimal protection, the child should remain rear facing until reaching the maximum weight for the car safety seat, as long as the top of the head is below the top of the seat back."

I'll include a bunch of links about why kids should stay rear-facing until at least 2 years old, but the bottom line is that it is a much, much safer way for kids to ride. One study demonstrated that kids under 2 who ARE rear-facing are 75% less likely to die or sustain serious injury in a car accident--those are odds I want working on my side, not against me.

Caitlyn stayed rear-facing until 2, and then we moved her back to rear-facing when she was a bit over 2.5. She stayed that way until she was 3.5, and the only reason we flipped her forward was because she started to get motion sickness. Because she only weighs 30 pounds and her car seat safely rearfaces up to 33 pounds, she could probably stay rear-facing for another year. It was certainly a hard choice for us, but when we looked at the studies on safety, the MOST critical ages to remain rear-facing are kids under 2, although it is a safer option for all kids, as long as they are in a seat that can accommodate that position. Had she not stared getting sick in the car, you can bet that little girl would still be riding rear-facing.

Lorelei is almost 2, and we have no plans to turn her forward anytime soon. She weighs around 22 pounds, and her car seat can also safely rear-face until 33 pounds. She is happy and comfortable in that position, and most importantly, she is safe.

Comments that we hear all the time are:

Aren't they uncomfortable that way? No, they seem to be just fine! It seems to be much easier to sleep in a rear-facing car seat since their heads do not flop forward.

Don't you have to turn them when their legs touch the seat? Won't their legs break in a crash? No! There is not a single documented incident of a child breaking a leg in an accident due to a rear-facing car seat. My kids prop their feet on the seat, bend their legs or fold them.

My doctor said I needed to turn my baby at 10 months because of his weight. Isn't that right? No, your doctor is a moron, and apparently failed to pay attention in anatomy. The reason there is an age and weight guideline is because of how an infant's neck muscles and ligaments develop and strengthen. Even if a baby meets the weight guideline, he is just not strong enough to ride safely forward-facing. And the AAP's own guidelines recognize that.

Car seat manufacturer's now make seats that allow rear-facing up to 45 pounds! In other countries, such as Sweden, this is the norm, and it is much safer for kids. Because it is not the norm in our country, you will certainly get strange looks if you choose to keep your kids rear-facing past one year old. However, you'll know that you are keeping your child safer.

I'm not trying to convert anyone (well, maybe I am), but it is a subject I feel strongly about. I always advocate doing whatever works for your family, but see if some of these links don't give you pause.

Here are some of my favorite resources:

March article from Pediatrics

Child Passenger Safety

YouTube Video- Crash test comparison

Joel's Journey- What can happen

And just so you know, the girls are going to be harnessed in a 5-point harness for a LONG time, too! Adult seat belts are not meant for little bodies, and our girls are tiny. I'm sure Caitlyn will be mad when she gets to elementary school, and she is still harnessed in a car seat, while her friends get to ride in boosters or without any seat whatsoever. Oh well. There is a huge body of evidence as to what is safest for her and Lorelei when it comes to car seats, and THAT is what I care about.

And here is one reason why. (Warning--you will probably cry. I've seen it several times and I cry still.)

One crazy summer officially kicks off!

Chris arrived on Tuesday night around midnight, and our crazy, hectic summer has officially commenced. He was thrilled to be here, and we are thrilled to have him. Little does he know that summer is about to get kicked into high gear with the long list of exciting events we have planned. Now, before anyone accuses us of being a "Disneyland Dad" type of family when Chris is with us, just read back over the last few years--we are ALWAYS on the go, trying to enjoy our kids and show them the world!!

Since Jason is incredibly busy studying for the bar exam, we have to cram as much fun into the weekends as we can. Of course, during the week, the kids and I will be embarking on our park and beach adventures without Daddy. During the next two weeks, we are heading to Luray Caverns, Great Wolf Lodge, the beach, Colonial Williamsburg, the park, the pool and out for as many bike rides as we can all stand.

Our upcoming schedule includes a trip to Florida on the Auto Train, Sea World, Disney World (of course!), Destin, and then on to Houston. In Houston, we will visit the beach, water park, see some movies, take in "Wicked," celebrate the girls' birthdays, the birth of our country, peruse some museums, visit with friends and who knows what else?

At the end of July (that's right, we are only halfway done!), we will head back to Virginia to meet our movers, and then we set off on a cross-country road trip that is sure to go down in Marquez family history as one of our wildest, most ambitious adventures yet. We've planned stops in Chicago, Dunes National Lake Shore, Amish country, Mill Run to see Falling Water (Frank Lloyd Wright's most famous creation), Badlands National Park, Mt. Rushmore, Sturgis, Lake Erie, Glacier National Park, the Museum of the Rockies and so much more!

Oh, but wait--there's more! Once we finally get to Washington and get settled in our new house, we are heading out on an Alaskan cruise, where I will partake in the mother of all massages to unwind from this chaotic summer. :)

Will I have time to update here? I hope so, but you may not hear from me again for a while. And if you don't hear from me by September, I may very well be checked into some quiet respite home to recuperate from the madness!

Mudder's Day

I think this year was the best Mother's Day yet! After sleeping in until 8am (heavenly, by the way!), I was woken up by cute little giggles and snuggly hugs. Caitlyn hurdled the footboard of the bed, and Lorelei scampered to my side with pleas of, "Up? Up? Upppppp!" Caitlyn shouted, "Happy Muddder's Day!!!!" as soon as she pounced on the bed, sounding for all the world like she just came from Jersey.

Jason and I just bought two bikes and a bike trailer, which we agreed were to be our Mother's and Father's Day presents, so I didn't expect to get gifts, too! First, Caitlyn made me an absolutely precious card that boldly proclaimed she loves me a "bunch." Of course, the declaration was accompanied by a bunch of grapes made from fingerprints--cute, right? She also stamped a collection of things she says I love--flowers, hearts, stars and a few random animals. This card is going in the hope chest, and I will keep it forever.

The girls got me a Virginia keychain to remind me of our beloved home of three years once we move to our new home, Washington. It was so cute hearing them tell me all about it. Lorelei liked the bird (cardinal), and Caitlyn liked the shape of Virginia.

Jason also got me a gift in the form of the CD by Court Yard Hounds. I like to listen to music when I'm writing, and it is ideal for that task!

We went to breakfast, and then had to do a bit of shopping for the girls. I stuck to the very specific list I'd made of things they needed, and though I was sorely tempted by the adorable mermaid line at Gymboree, I'm pleased to say I did not succumb to consumerism.

It was a lovely, relaxed day, and Jason and I had a child-free dinner once the girls were in bed. We ordered from Bone Fish Grill, one of our favorite restaurants, and I completely indulged with Bang Bang Shrimp, their delicious house salad, wood-grilled shrimp and scallops with haricot verts and a giant Macadamia nut brownie. Yum--I want to eat the whole meal all over again!

No.

Both of the girls have strong personalities, but each of them manifests strong traits in different ways.

Caitlyn is mischievous, playful and a total know-it-all (yes, I know. Big surprise--I got mine!). When she was just learning to explore on her own, she would push the limits and climb up somewhere she wasn't supposed to be, like the back of the couch. If you told her to get down, she'd look you in the eye, slowly continue to climb and giggle.

Lorelei is just as mischievous, playful and a total know-it-all, but in a shockingly straightforward way. Lorelei also likes to climb, explore and push the limits. If you tell her to get down, sometimes she does. And other times, she looks right at you and says, "No." It isn't a mean "no" or a whiney "no." It is a very matter-of-fact statement. And actually, it is kind of funny sometimes because it doesn't sound at all like the typical two year old protest.

Coping with the strong personalities of the girls can be challenging. In general, they are very well-behaved and usually get so many compliments from friends and strangers alike for their behavior. However, just like all kids, they have their wild days and crazy moments. I try to remind myself that the traits they demonstrate that are sometimes difficult are really remarkable traits I WANT them to have as they get older.

I want them to be unafraid to correct someone who is wrong. I want them to blaze their own trail, challenge the status quo and stick up for themselves. I don't want them to be afraid to try new things or say "no" or go their own way.

Sometimes I just wish they could bottle up those traits and save them for the rest of the world, while giving their mama a bit of a break!

Of Bikes and Beds

Albert Einstein explained relativity as follows: "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

I'll follow his example with my own: "Sit with a child throwing a tantrum for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Play with or teach your child for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

Being a mama is all about peaks and valleys. The days when my children are grumpy and whiney seem to drag by, while the special moments never seem to last long enough. The days when I could snuggle them as long as I wanted to flew by, and now I am grateful when they collapse into my lap for more than a brief hug and kiss.

It seems like only last week that Caitlyn was brand new, slowly inducting me into this life as a mama. It seems like days ago that Lorelei buried her tiny head against my chest in contented slumber. Their baby days raced by, and sometimes it seems like I put them to bed as toddlers, only to have them wake up the next morning as little girls.

Yesterday, Caitlyn learned to ride a bike with training wheels. She looked so adorable decked out in her pink helmet, perched on her sparkly pink bike, and she was so proud of herself. She was tickled, well, pink! But, oh, how my mama heart pounded, watching her wheel away from me atop that little bike. It didn't matter that Jason was right beside her, or that I was just a few feet from her--something about her navigating her own path, on her own bike, felt like she was slipping away, just the tiniest little bit. My heart swelled with pride, but it also stung, just a bit, to see how fleeting these days really are.

Last night, Lorelei slept in a toddler bed for the first time. My last little baby is not really a little baby anymore, and she proved it when she climbed up in her bed, her tiny little bed without the safety of rails and slats, and went to sleep. I know sounds silly, but it felt like she is now just a bit more vulnerable, a bit more out there and a bit more independent. She is old enough to have earned a bit of trust, and she's taken one tiny step towards the day when she will no longer need me to protect her every step (though my mama self will never, ever stop doing it anyway). But, she wasn't afraid, and she did exactly as we asked, snuggling down in her covers (with duck, babies, bap, book and water!) with a smug little smile of a tiny girl who is excited to be big.

Two big steps for two sweet girls in one single day. Pride and wistfulness at the same time. Maybe we should stick to one big milestone a day, for my sake!