Dear Automotive Industry,

I think I might have a wonderful idea to help pull you out of the current slump. In fact, I think my idea might be a bigger hit than the "Cash for Clunkers" program that has driven so many recent sales. So listen up!

Please, please, please with a cherry on top, can you work a soundproof barrier into your next design? I love my spacious SUV, but I would trade it in a heartbeat if you made a vehicle, any vehicle, with a retractable sound barrier between my kids and I. If being retractable makes said barrier impossible, then just go ahead and design it to be in place permanently. 

You see, I love my kids. Very much. But, they have recently discovered new levels of insanity-inducing antics when we are riding in the car. Lorelei, the baby, likes to shriek. At the top of her lungs. Normally, it is kind of cute, but not in heavy traffic when Mama has a splitting headache. Caitlyn likes to imitate . . . everything. She imitates the shrieking, she imitates annoying jokes that her brother tells her, and she imitates bodily functions. She also sings. Loudly. And off key. Chris whines. He is hungry/nauseous/tired/bored. He also antagonizes the other two, in what I have determined is an effort to see just how many ways he can get them to dissolve into tears of frustration. They don't take turns, either. All of this is going on simultaneously in a great big cacophony of madness and sound.

Did I mention I love them? Because I really do. But, I really think it might be best for all of us if I could just get a little peace and quiet, at least while I'm driving. 

Please? I'd certainly be willing to pay big bucks for the luxury of a peaceful moment or two. And I'm willing to be there are lots of other parents out there who would do the same. Just think of it as a bailout for moms.

Sincerely,

Ashley Marquez