Passionate

There are a few things in my life that I am passionate about, and most of them relate to my children. I've never been one of those people who LIVE their job- I work to live, not live to work. In fact, I have never owned a single item that touts my career. I've never really been into sports or teams or colleges- I own a single OU shirt that my husband bought me. Most of my achievements are an afterthought to me- I didn't send out announcements when I finished my M.A., and I never even considered going to the ceremony, nor do I have even a picture to commemorate the event. Things like that just don't get me going.

My kids do, though. I love them more than my own life, and I would do or give them anything if it would help them. Breastfeeding falls into this category, and it also happens to be one of those things I am passionate about. 

I'm not one of those crazy lactivist types who would disown a friend for feeding *gasp* formula. I'm glad we have such a great substitute for breastmilk, and I'm glad that it works for some families. While I loathe some of the things formula companies do, I'm grateful that they keep babies alive with the product they produce.

But, I am very proud that I've never used it to feed my little nurslings. Breastfeeding is one of those things I am passionate about. Yep, I own a t shirt touting it. Yep, I have something special to commemorate that relationship. Yep, I even have pictures of me feeding each of the girls. Even bigger, I keep abreast (ha ha) of related stories and legislation, and I would be first in line to participate in a nurse in to help raise awareness of this special mothering task. 

Breastfeeding isn't easy, not that anything about being a mother is. Many women struggle with it, although there are very few who can't do it. It hurts in the beginning, it ties you constantly to your child and it isn't always convenient.  I never left Caitlyn for longer than 3 or 4 hours until she was over a year old. Lorelei still hasn't been left for longer than 2 hours, and she still doesn't sleep through the night the way most formula-fed babies would by this age. When Caitlyn was 1 week old, I went to the Emergency Room with raging mastitis. For weeks, my toes would curl in pain when she latched on. But, we nursed through it.

There is just something magical about nursing a baby- something primal and sacred. I feel a kinship with all other mammals because I am feeding my baby the way nature intended. I relish the quiet moments during a feeding, feeling the soft brush of tiny fingers on my side or chest as my babies caress me in time with their meal. I love seeing them grow and thrive on something that came purely from me, especially when they are young and the only nourishment they've ever known came from my body. Those warm, milky smiles are priceless, not to mention the many medical and health benefits nursing provides. 

It is satisfying, peaceful and precious to comfort your little one in a way no one else can, and I treasure it. Does it sound odd to say that I will miss these days when they are gone? No more midnight nursing. No more babe suckling in a park. No more instant comfort when life causes hurts. I'm willing to be that it doesn't sound odd at all to any other nursing mother.