Sigh.

It used to be that I loved to watch the baby shows on television- A Baby Story, Special Delivery, you know the ones. Who doesn't love to see new life? 

When I was pregnant with Caitlyn, I was on bedrest for 11 weeks, so I watched (and got sick of!) lots of different shows, but the baby shows never got old. It never occurred to me to pay attention to the typical pattern that the majority of the births followed. Then, I had Caitlyn via a totally needless c-section, and I began to see the new reality of obstetrics. 

Here's the general plot for at least 50% of those shows:  Mom is 39 weeks pregnant and tired of pregnancy. Doctor makes comments about a "big" baby or is just willing to induce for whatever reason. Pitocin is given. Membranes are artificially ruptured. Mom gets an epidural and can't feel a thing. Mom labors for a bit, fails to progress and the doc calls for a section. Mom sees baby over the sheet in the OR for 15 seconds before baby is whisked away, and Mom must lay there, strapped down, while she is stitched up.

Not necessary. Abuse of power. Ridiculous. Alarming. Those are the words that come to mind for me. 

When I examined the circumstances of Caitlyn's delivery, I began to get angry. I had a picture perfect labor- arrived at the hospital in a great labor pattern, got an epidural at 6 cm, and was dilated to 10 cm 2 hours later. I saw the doctor one time as he arrived to break my water. After I was fully dilated, Jason and I were left to push for about an hour with only sporadic checks by a nurse. I could not feel a thing and had no idea if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Finally, the doctor came in to check on me, watched me push for one contraction, and said I was too small to deliver and needed a c section.  Busy maternity floor, holiday weekend, near the end of the regular shift- it was almost laughable.  The experience was awful, but for the beautiful, wonderfully perfect little girl who was there at the end.

When I became pregnant with Lorelei, I faced an uphill battle in my quest for my ideal birth. The c section rate in our country is sky high- much higher than is necessary or even safe. 30% of births take place in an operating room. The VBAC rate in our country is tiny- only 2 mothers out of 10 will have a VBAC. In some areas, it is literally impossible to have anything other than a repeat c section in subsequent pregnancies.

At every prenatal appointment, I was lectured at and questioned about my decision to VBAC. I knew that the success of avoiding the OR on delivery date had almost everything to do with which of the 4 doctors in the practice was on call when I went into labor- two were VERY against it, one was VERY supportive, and one was neutral.

In the end, nature worked beautifully. Water broke, got to the hospital at 5 cm, had a really powerful, intense 25 minutes, and then I was ready to push at 10 cm. I had no time for any sort of drug, and that feeling was amazing (and nearly overwhelming during transition!). I pushed for 3 hours with a very patient, dedicated doctor and nurse (average time for a first delivery is 2 hours), and in the end I was rewarded with the perfect birth- a gorgeous baby, a huge sense of accomplishment, awe in what my body had done, and a husband who thought I was the world's most amazing woman.  What an experience!

Now, I don't watch the baby shows. I can't stand the fear and coercion that accompanies so many births. I hate the mistrust of such a natural process, although I praise the interventions that are used appropriately. Most of all, I hate how many women are left out of decisions that affect their bodies.