Jason has been in Oklahoma for the past 4 days to visit the boys, and they had a great time together. Jason was able to go see both of them at school, visit with their teachers, go to a spring football game at OU, check out the Sam Noble Museum, attend an Easter egg hunt at our friends' home, and see Monsters vs. Aliens. It was a very, very busy weekend for them, and I am so happy that they all got to spend time together.
This morning, I logged into facebook and was thrilled to see that my friend Jessica uploaded pictures to her profile from the easter egg hunt. Her kids are so adorable, and her oldest and Caitlyn were the best of friends when we lived in Oklahoma. I was looking through the pictures at all of kids in their cute easter clothes, when all of a sudden I realized that the miniature gangsters in the photos were none other than my stepsons. They were both wearing huge, baggy athletic pants, oversized undershirts, and enormous basketball style jerseys. And chains- big, silver chains. Cute, huh? Just what every 4 and 6 year old should wear on Easter.
Although Jason probably should have anticipated that they would be wearing such things (since they always are), he didn't get to pick up the boys until late afternoon and didn't want to waste time going back to the hotel to get different clothes. At least they were clean clothes- the last time they came to visit us, they were wearing holey sweats that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine for quite some time.
This kind of thing just makes me so sad. We send this woman more money each month than someone earning minimum wage makes working full time for 4 weeks, plus we pay more than half of their daycare costs. You'd think that somewhere in the budget would be some money for clothes that fit, socks without holes, laundry detergent, a visit to some sort of educational venue and toothbrushes. But hey, mom's got a brand new car, 23 year old stepdad has a brand new car- the money's gotta come from somewhere, right?
And honestly, it might be laughable if it weren't so stereotypical. I have so many friends who have stepkids in similar situations, and they are just as frustrated as I am. What makes a court see two homes- one that offers educational and cultural experiences, discipline, healthy habits, stability, attention to medical issues and child-centered priorities and one that offers constant babysitting, dirty clothes, a run wild and talk back mentality, ignorance towards health issues, fast food and beer pong- and choose the latter just because that is where mom lives?
The funny thing is that over the years we have had to step in and problem solve for mom more times that I care to count. Just this evening, I got an irate phone call that Jason hadn't left Christopher's car seat. Number one, of course Jason left the seat (with Chris, at his school). Number two, he sent mom a text message telling her where it was when he dropped the boys off this morning. And number three, what the heck am I supposed to do about it from Virginia? Off the top of my head, I can think of half a dozen ways to resolve the issue (had the seat actually been forgotten), and not a single one involves calling someone from out of state!
At this point, I refuse to be any sort of contact for someone who can't be nice to me unless it suits their own needs. It is actually rather refreshing to simply state, "I'm sorry- you need to talk to Jason. Please don't contact me."
I think this will be my last post from my standpoint as a stepmom. It is just too damn disheartening to write about.
No comments:
Post a Comment