Things Moms should never do

I must admit, I think moms should be held to a higher standard than anyone else in the world.  Actually, I think parents in general should be held to a higher standard than others, but I hold moms in a category all their own. Mothers are the only beings on the planet who have a special, sacred connection with their children from the moment they are conceived. 

I felt my daughters' fluttery movements within my womb when I was just barely into the second trimester of pregnancy. By 17 or 18 weeks, I delighted in their antics, kicking and rolling and punching their days away. Later in the pregnancies, others could feel, or even see, their lively movements, but for those first few months, the joy was mine alone.  I would carve my own heart out with a dull blade before I ever did anything that might cause them a moment's distress.

Yet, I look around our world, and I see so many mothers utterly neglecting, harming and sacrificing their children in pursuit of their own desires. And I'm not just talking about the bold, headline-making atrocities- I see women everyday who are wounding their children bit by bit, in small, but significant ways.

Moms should never use their children as weapons to hurt the father. Moms should never make a child choose one parent over the other. Moms should take care of their children, teach them to take care of themselves, nourish them properly, and never allow them to poison their minds with inappropriate media.  Moms should never make promises they can't keep, and moms should be there, always.  

Moms should be there when their children are sick, and moms should make their children their number ONE priority. Moms should seek help when their kids need it- in school, in health, in delays, and emotionally. Moms should never blame their kids for issues that arise- they are children.  

I think moms should consider their positions in everything they do, and I think they should always present an image they would be comfortable with their kids knowing about. Moms should have adult needs and adult fun, but make it healthy and appropriate. Have an intimate need? Satisfy it in a respectful, healthy manner, not by sleeping with anything that buys you dinner.  Want a fun night out with friends? Go to a club, have a few drinks, be silly with the girls and then drive home safely with a designated driver. Don't get wasted with meth-head friends, take slutty pictures to post on the internet, drive home with a beer in your hand, and then take even more pictures of such behavior to share with the world. Want to pamper yourself? Buy a little something or indulge at the spa. Don't run up your credit cards constantly buying yourself clothes, jewelry and gadgets, while your kids wear shoes that are ripping at the seams.

I firmly believe that mother is a verb, not a noun. It is not a title bestowed upon everyone with the ability to reproduce. Being a mother is something you DO every single day, not something you just simply ARE. I wish more people, more mothers, knew that.

Traveling with Tots

I have a personal goal to see as much of our glorious world as I can. I love to travel. Even more than that, I crave travel. Seeing a new place, inhaling foreign scents, listening to the sounds of the locals in a busy market, discovering the unique gems of a particular locale- these are some of my life's greatest pleasures. I think I was really bitten by the travel bug as a high school sophomore when I participated in a summer exchange trip to Germany. My first commercial flight was a sans parents trans-Atlantic hop to Paris, and I spent a month living with a family in Freiburg. Exploring the city on my own at 16, learning the bus system, partaking in the customs, speaking to merchants, tourists and locals, and really experiencing all the country had to offer . . . man, I was HOOKED!

Jason and I are already planning a world cruise upon his retirement. Travel is such a part of who I am that I never even considered changing just because I now happen to have kids.

Caitlyn flew for the first time as a six week old. Granted, that particular trip was just to Houston to visit family, but it has set the travel precedent for her life. She has flown more times than I can count, and we do not hesitate to take her anywhere. The kid is a traveler through and through, from her easygoing adaptability to her rolling Nemo bag that she totes along.

Her first major trip was a cruise to Mexico. She was the youngest passenger on board, and she was spoiled by all everywhere we went. Her official first kiss (from anyone outside the family!) took place in a Mexican market, bestowed upon her by an elderly Mexican official who was reminded of his granddaughter. We have a photo to commemorate the event. Since that trip, Caitlyn has been to many beaches, Disney World, all over Texas, Washington, DC, and will soon experience the Pacific Coast.

Our philosophy on traveling with our kids is to go with the flow, but we also refuse to dumb down our trips or only cater to what the kids want to do. If we did that, we'd be stuck in amusement park hell, and there is so much more out there to see and do! Of course, that means a lot of teaching- how to eat in nice restaurants, how to behave in museums, the proper use of indoor voices, and the ever popular refrain, "Where do your hands go?"

Our diligence has been rewarded, and we have seen so many amazing things with the kids. On our last trip to DC, we were even able to take the girls to the Holocaust Museum with exceptional results. Caitlyn was truly interested in almost all of the things we saw, and she asked lots of questions about the exhibits, punctuated by the occasional two year old exclamation, "There's a train! I love trains!"

Two things that are essential for traveling with the girls are a great stroller and a great baby carrier. Jason loves to laugh about my stroller fetish, but I think after buying and trying six of them, we have finally found our dream stroller- the Easy Walker Sky. A bit pricy, a bit bulky, and a bit difficult to fly with, it is a dream for long trips, walking, and trails. My favorite baby carrier (again, after buying and trying several) is the Beco. It is the only commercially produced baby carrier worth the material it is made out of- I love it! I can wear Lorelei on front or back, and she is perfectly content!

This entry got a bit long, so I will save my other tips, as well as an account of our recent nightmare of a flight for later!

Just one leg

This is from my computer journal, but I wanted to share it here.

Just one leg.  That's all I had time for, and even that was a stretch.  As is typical in our house, I jumped in the shower as Caitlyn was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and eating a cereal bar, while Lorelei was happily bouncing in her chair. Taking advantage of a quiet moment, I leapt into the shower for a few minutes. I lathered up and washed my hair, then cocked one ear to the open door.  

"Caitlyn! Are you watching tv?"  "Yes!"  "Ok, I'll be out in a minute!"

Feeling giddy with excitement, I luxuriated in the cascading warmth of the water for another quick moment.  It is not often that I get more than a couple of minutes in the shower unless I wait until the little darlings are in bed, so I intended to take full advantage of a morning when everyone was being cooperative. I picked up my yummy raspberry shaving gel, lathered up, and began to shave my legs in quick, long strokes.

But, the mommy gods intervened. 

No sooner had I completed one leg, admiring the silky smoothness of my newly shaved right leg, did Lorelei start wailing. And Caitlyn didn't do it- per Caitlyn.

So, I rinsed the unused lather off of my left leg, grabbed a towel, quickly solved the problem in the living room (toy back to Lorelei, toddler in time out), dressed and got on with the rest of the day.

And here I sit with my one.shaved.leg.  Jason will be so excited!

The Cast

Our family is a little crazy, a little wild, a little hectic, and a lot of love. We are the modern American family- one mom, one dad, two boys and two girls. Oh, and a stepmom, two stepsons, half siblings and whole siblings.  Confusing? A bit, but we make the best of it. 

Jason is the husband and the dad. He is currently serving as an Army Captain, and he is nearly halfway done with law school. He works hard, plays hard and loves the kids more than his life. He is a charming husband, equally exasperating and impishly loving. When he comes home, there is equal chance that he is carrying a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine, as there is that he is carrying the latest zombie movie and a package of twizzlers- both make for a fun evening together. He makes me laugh in a way that no one else ever has, and I love the conversations that we have.  Although I say conversations, those who know us know that they could also be called debates or even arguments! But, it is all in fun and love, and we both love to delve into sensitive subjects, intellectual discourse and hot topics in society.  Jason is my other half, my parent partner, and my true love.

I am the mom, the stepmom, and the wife. While I have a degree in education and a Masters in HR, I am currently staying home to raise and enjoy our two sweet girls. I keep one foot in the workforce by teaching two evenings a week for the local adult education program, and I enjoy helping the citizens of our community reach their goals. I am a planner by nature, and that comes in handy when trying to wrangle four children. Being a mama has been the greatest joy of my life, and I love almost every minute of it. I say almost because anyone with kids knows that there are moments when you could easily run screaming for the hills after the 100th chorus of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" or after cleaning up spilled milk for the 3rd time in span of 20 minutes. Regardless, this is my life, and I LOVE it!

Now, the kids:

Chris is a charming, witty 6.5 year old. He is sweet and sensitive with just enough trouble and mischief mixed in to keep it exciting. He loves his siblings, and he is a caring, kind brother. He is most patient with his sisters, and he saves the rough stuff for his brother. Equally happy playing dress up or kicking a ball, Chris is the sort of kid that is not ashamed to be exactly who he is with no apologies or excuses. He handles the many challenges and transitions of two families with style and maturity. 

Josh is a robust nearly 4 year old, who is funny and grumpy in equal proportion. He loves all things sports, evidenced by the fact that his first word was "ball." He had a rough start in life, facing reflux, asthma, constant illness, speech problems and ear tubes, but he has grown out of most of those things. Right now, Josh is having a difficult time with our family dynamic, and he unfortunately has a tough time overcoming some of the negative influences in his life. We don't get to hold him as close as we'd like, but we love him more than he can know. When I think of Josh, I always think of him as a sweet little baby who snuggled with me when he was sick- he was happy as long as you held him! I took care of him a lot back then, and sang him many a song- songs that still bring him to mind when I hear them.

Caitlyn is a treasure- she is my first biological child and the most amazing kid ever. I have been in awe of her since the day she was born. She is a tiny little thing with an overabundance of determination, grit and insight. Her cleverness astounds us daily, and she is eloquent beyond her two years. This kid is full of life, and she is going places.  Where she is going is yet to be determined, but it will be BIG, for better or worse. She just doesn't do middle ground.

Lorelei is our last little baby, and I intend to soak up everything about her. When the days and nights are long with mommy tasks, one little whiff of her sweet head is enough to melt the stress away. She is a vivacious little redhead who smiles with her whole face. Everything she does, she does with vigor- laughing, crying, crawling- it is all done with enthusiasm! She is quick and eager, and I can't wait to see what this little girl does next.

A new way to share

Life is a journey, and I want to chronicle our travels down its path. I love to write, and I have kept a journal off and on during different phases of my life. During our courtship and early marriage, my husband and I kept a special notebook, inspired by the movie of the same name, where we shared our thoughts, impressions and memories of our days together. Some of my most treasured keepsakes are the poems that Jason scribed for me in our special book.

So, here is my modern day answer to journaling, as well as a way to share our lives with our friends and family. It is also a place where I can ramble, muse and ponder life, parenting, relationships, and dreams. As the wise all say, these days are precious, fleeting, and I will miss them when they are gone. My hope is that my efforts here will preserve them just enough that I can recapture their essence in the future.