November?

Really? November is almost over? Hmm, that explains the cooler weather, the Christmas decorations everywhere and the fact that the leaves are almost gone on the trees. How did this happen so quickly?

I guess it must have something to do with the crazy schedule and running after two kids all day, everyday!

Ok, so a quick recap of the last couple of months, and then a promise to start blogging again regularly!

We hit the pumpkin patch in early October with the Pankratz family. And it was so much fun, we returned later with Jason, and then again for a birthday party! The weather was gorgeous each time we were there, and the girls really loved the petting zoo. Caitlyn wanted to take home a kitty and a duck, and Lorelei wanted the baby cow to sleep in her room.

We also made a trip to Mt. Rainier in October. It is just breath-taking, and I cannot wait to see the meadows in full bloom in the spring. The girls loved hiking the trails and exploring the beauty of the park. I think we only saw three other people, and it was peaceful, magical and beautiful.

Halloween was lots of fun, even if Jason wasn't able to be here for it. Caitlyn planned for months to be a water fairy, and we made parts of her costume together. Lorelei did not show much interest in picking a costume until there were actually costumes to look at in the stores, and by that time, I'd convinced her to wear a kitty costume I bought last year. Two days before Halloween, in the midst of a Michael Jackson obsessed frenzy brought on by watching "This is It," she declared she WAS MJ. A quick scramble through the closet and trip to Target later, we had black pants, black jacket, white glove, white shirt, white socks, black shoes and a sequined black fedora that satisfied Miss MJ. She sang, "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" at every house, and she is still declaring herself to be MJ. We also have to take the hat with us to an embarrassing number of places. This too shall pass, right?

In early November, we hit up the Nisqually Wildlife Refuge with the Pankratz family. The girls and Kausten were thrilled to run down the boardwalk and search for giant leaves. There was no quiet observation of nature, and I'm sure we scared off more wildlife than we saw. However, we did see a bright red-headed woodpecker going to town on a tree!

Caitlyn is loving her school, and her teacher is just amazing. She told us that Caitlyn is one of the most remarkable students she's ever had in 18 years of teaching . . . but we knew that, right? On November 12, the school had a St. Martin festival. We enjoyed a potluck dinner, and then the kids took a walk down the lane with lanterns they made in class. They sang songs and wondered at the night sky. It was really a fun night.

And now, here we are! I know I've skipped a lot of the little moments, but these are the big things! I swear, I'm going to do better!

Updates

I'm going to cite crazy, busy summer as the reason why I have not blogged at all since June. And really, had you walked a mile (or over 6000 miles!!) in my shoes, I doubt you could blame me. I was looking back through previous posts, and it was so cute of me to think I could just blog everyday after chasing 3 kids around Florida. By the time we spent all day at Sea World, I switched from unwinding by blogging every night to unwinding with a glass or three of wine.

I'm pretty sure I can sum up our Disney trip in just a two words--it ROCKED!! The kids and I hit the water parks a couple more times, and then my mom arrived to play with us at the World. We moved from our condo to the Pop Century Resort, and that place was like a child's dream come true with giant Mickey statues, an enormous pool and bright colors everywhere. Just some tidbits about Disney:

1. We all loved the character meals, but I think the Pooh and friends meal at Crystal Palace remains the best. The food is great, and the characters are very interactive. We also loved Garden Grill, the revolving restaurant at The Land in Epcot. Some of the best food we had AND we got to meet Farmer Mickey. Hard to top that.

2. For her 4th birthday, Caitlyn got to go to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique to be transformed into her princess of choice (Belle, of course). While I admit I had some "Toddlers and Tiaras" flashbacks, it was a wonderfully over the top experience and likely the pinnacle of every little girl's dress up fantasies. The look on her little face as she was sprinkled with pixie dust was well worth the hefty price tag.

3. All of the kids had a ball, and it impresses me that the magic of Disney does not wear off, even if you go a couple of times close together. I still tear up walking down Main Street, USA.

4. The drive back to Houston was mostly uneventful, and except for a few incidents of major 8 year old attitude, the kids were really good.

Our time in Houston was marked by friends, margaritas and lots of fun things to do. We've been so lucky to be able to take extended trips back home for the last few years. Some tidbits from that time:

1. The girls love their friend Rylee, and it melts my heart to see how much they love each other, even though they do not get to visit very often. Caitlyn taught Rylee how to cross her eyes and that might be the funniest thing I saw all summer.

2. I so miss good Mexican food. I've been all over the country, and except for perhaps New Mexico (which is so different it may not even be a reasonable comparison), Texas has the best Mexican food. And the best, cheap margaritas. In fact, I wish I had one right now (6:30 in the morning be damned!)

3. The kids and I tried to go do something fun every other day. Our various VA memberships got us into lots of places for free, so we took advantage. We went to the children's museum, health museum, museum of fine art, science museum, moody gardens, downtown aquarium, jumping place, parks, pools and more. Houston may not be my favorite city, but there is a lot to do there.

4. I love all of our Houston friends, and I am so glad we have them. One family, the Broussards, have been best friends with our family since I was born, and they are some of the best people I know.

5. We held the girls' birthday party on the 4th of July. Jason got to come down for it, and it was a big success. I'm so happy Lorelei could have at least one big Texas birthday party.

6. I threw a surprise 50th birthday party for my mom. I rented a limo and took her and some gal pals out to dinner in Houston. The decorations, the cake, the candy bar in pink martini glasses, the pink and black feathered birthday hat--all of it was perfect. What was not perfect was seeing our limo break down as it pulled around to pick us up after dinner. Talk about a buzz kill, as well as an ironic situation that was not funny! Luckily we were on the road again in about an hour in the cool new Excursion limo they sent to rescue us--and then it was a little funny.

7. I hate mosquitos. And hot, humid days.

8. The fact that Steve is gone still hits me like a punch in the gut. Steve was a night owl, and I am, too. On all of my past visits, he and I would sit up late and talk, and I missed that. In fact, one night I swear I heard him walking around the living room, and I called out to him. The reality that I never get to talk to him again makes me really angry and resentful and just plain sad.

9. My mom is wonderful, and I love her so much! I know it wasn't easy to have the kids and I invade her house for a month, and we made it through our visit with minimal strife (which is inevitable since she and I are just alike). I see the stress and strain she is under, and I am glad I know I don't have to worry about her. She is the strongest person, both in terms of strengh and character, that I know, and I am proud to be her daughter.

Our move began with a 1500 mile trip back to VA. I laugh now as I think back to how sick I was of driving then. HA! That was just the beginning! Our trip was slightly complicated by the fact a big tropical strom was forecast to hit our route along I-10 on the day we left, so we moved up our trip a day. It was a good decision because the one thunderstorm we did hit reduced our speed to about 40 mph in driving rain with 18-wheelers all around. One snag hit as we arrived in Atlanta to an overbooked hotel that I had a confirmed (and paid for!) reservation at. They did send us to another hotel and picked up the tab, in addition to refunding my money, but the hassle of taking an additional hour to get to our room may not have been worth it.

In Williamsburg, our movers fouled things up when they decided they only needed one day to pack us and thus did not show up the first day they were scheduled to be there. To be fair, they did only need one day to pack, but it would have been nice to know that in advance or have some say in the matter. The downside is that my mom was already scheduled to leave, so the girls ended up with me almost the entire time both the packers and movers were working. They were fabulously well-behaved, and the movers cleared out one room first thing so they would have a place to play and watch DVDs.

Some highlights from our move:

1. We saw my brother and his wife in Chicago. The city itself was just ok, but it was great to see them. Lorelei started laughing the second she saw Joey, and I don't think she stopped giggling the whole time. Caitlyn loved climbing on Joey, and then flipping and sliding her way back to the ground.

2. The girls continue to amaze me as to what good travelers they are. Our car was packed full, (and I am NOT one to travel with 100 different things to entertain them) and still, they were good. I put one small plastic box of toys between them (ponies, Barbies, Little People figures), and they each had some books, drawing supplies and their movies. Caitlyn also had a Leapster 2 that she got for her birthday, but that was it. The best time wasters were little journals from Target's $1 section and some twistable crayons. Caitlyn also liked coloring a map of each state we went through as we crossed the border (printed off the internet).

3. Best items I brought--an ice chest so we did not have to fast food our way across the U.S. and a little pink potty for emergencies. It was fun picnicing at parks and grassy areas, and we ate far more healthy food than we could have otherwise. It was also easier with the dog, and the girls liked running around after a meal. With Lorelei about 80% potty trained, the pink potty was a lifesaver on many occassions, and Caitlyn used it, too. It was nice, on long stretches of empty highway, to have a solution for the, "I need to go potty NOW!!!" moments.

4. Mt. Rushmore was cool, but far smaller than I thought it would be. We met a lot of bikers in the area for the Sturgis rally, and as a group, they were some of the nicest, most interesting people we met on our trip.

5. Went to a cowboy dinner and rodeo in Cody, WY. The girls danced to the band's music and became the stars of the show. Caitlyn's ballet is very . . . emotional and soulful. She twirls and spins and moves her arms in slow, exaggerated movements with sorrowful eyes during the slow songs, and she usually collapses to the floor at the end of the song, before jumping up to bow. Lorelei follows right along and does whatever Caitlyn does. It is precious, funny and slightly heartwrenching to watch.

6. At the rodeo, Caitlyn decided she wanted to be a cowgirl when she grows up. But still a palentologist, too. She also tried the calf scramble, though she thought she was going to ride a bucking horse. Lorelei cheered for the animals.

7. And speaking of Lorelei, the girl can talk your ear off. We went from a girl who said two words at a time to a little chatterbox who runs her mouth like there is no tomorrow in a matter of months. And because Caitlyn has such a big vocabulary, Lorelei does, too. It's amazing, and my favorite thing she says right now is, "I lus (love) you so much."

8. Yellowstone was breaktaking. We saw bears (including a cub not 5 feet from our car), birds, elk, moose and coyotes. It was hard to drive more than a few minutes without jumping out of the car to take a picture of something. Because of the girls, we had to stick to the easier trails, but Caitlyn shocked both Jason and I when she begged to hike down to a river. I warned her that the trail was steep and nearly a mile long. While we were hiking, I kept warning her that we were going to need to go back UP the long, steep trail once we reached the bottom. I told her I would not be able to carry her. She assured me she was fine. And you know what? She was. She even, shocking, I know, talked the whole way.

9. We hit the Museum of the Rockies in Montana. If you like dinosaurs, you need to visit this place that is right in the middle of some of the most prolific dig sites in the country. The displays were like nothing I've ever seen before, and the dinosaurs were feathered and colorful, in keeping with recent findings that suggests they were more avian than reptilian. Caitlyn insists she is going to dig up dinosaur bones one day. Steve would be so tickled by her.

10. Our next stop was Coeur D'Alene, Idaho. Listen up, Idaho: You need to do some better marketing. When I think of Idaho, I think of dusty, dry potato fields. Who knew there was a lush, beautiful lake that is so stunning it made it into our "1000 Things to Do in the USA and Canada Before You Die" book? Not me. At least not until I sat down to plan our route to Washington with said book in my lap. We enjoyed excellent fish from a lakeside patio, and we watched the sunset. Beautiful.

11. Vancouver was next on our list. Since our house closing was pushed back 2 weeks, we decided to add a couple of stops to our trip. Vancouver is a beautiful city, and the glass buildings make it look sleek and futuristic. We stayed a cool suite hotel in downtown, and we were able to walk to the ferry for Granville Island. I found approximately 537 things that I wanted to buy, and the girls had fun searching for lunch.

12. Seattle was our last stop before we got to our new city, and I really think that by this point, we were all too worn out to have much fun. We did go to the Pike Place Market, and the girls loved the flying fish booths. Caitlyn got a scare from a dead monkfish tied to a string so he could pop up at unsuspecting patrons. Honestly? The hotel pool and giant whirlpool bathtub were probably the girls' favorite parts. Although a close second would have to be spotting Mt. Rainier everyday in the distance. We've already learned to love the days when the mountain is out!

At this point in our journey, the girls and I had logged over 6000 miles since we left for Disney in June. We were all road weary and sick of sleeping in a different bed nearly every night. Thank goodness the girls are not picky about where they crash in the evenings, but at this point, even I was slightly whiney about wanting to sleep in my OWN house, in my OWN bed, with my OWN covers.

I'll leave it here for now. Our fun-filled two weeks in two different cabins at Fort Lewis is up next. Will we all go crazy? Stay tuned.

A Day With Dolphins

I freely admit that I still think the coolest job in the world would be to work as a dolphin trainer, and if the opportunity to HAVE that job ever comes along, I'm taking it. Because of that, anytime we are near a Sea World, it is a must-do for me, and fortunately (because we'd go anyway), the kids love it.

I was a bit apprehensive about taking the three of them to Sea World without any other help, especially because I planned to stay all day long and try to see everything. I really needn't have worried-my kids, who can shriek, pout and murder innocent caterpillars, were unbelievably good, leading me to think the best way to tackle summer is to have some big event planned all day, every day.

We got to Sea World when it opened, and I gotta say that Busch Gardens/InBev has earned by respect in some regards by offering military members and their dependents one free admission each year for the last several years. Because our tickets were free, I bought all-day dining passes for the kids and I, meaning we could eat and snack all day long.

A word about that--I figured we would eat lunch and dinner, as well as one or two snacks, making the plan a reasonably good deal. I hadn't counted on how excited my kids would be at the prospect of unlimited theme park food, nor had I counted on how delicious cold watermelon and strawberries would be in the middle of a 100 degree day.

We ate THREE meals each that day. I don't even remember what the kids got, but I had a wonderful turkey club with real chips, fried fish and fries (that Lorelei ate most of because I didn't think it was very good) and a Gardenburger. In addition to the meals, we got 4 servings of delicious chocolate chip cookies, a round of chocolate pudding, two slices of cake to share with lunch, countless bottles of water and juice and more fruit than I imagined they could eat in a day. No kidding, I think my kids and I ate an entire watermelon and 3 pounds of strawberries that day.

Needless to say, the meal plan was well worth the $60 it cost.

The shows, as always, were magical. During the first show of the day, a dolphin show with Cirque-type performers, Caitlyn, whose face was lit up like it was Christmas, turned to me and said dramatically, "THIS is what I want to do with my LIFE!!!"

Lorelei wouldn't sit still during the shows, preferring to stand and imitate the marine life. At the dolphin show, she twirled. At the sea lion show, she clapped and barked, and at the Shamu show, she followed the lead of the trainers, yelling out, "Shamu! Shamu!" in time to the music. She also relished the "Melmo" show since she loves that furry, red guy.

Chris most liked the pet show, where they teach rescued cats, dogs, pigs and birds to jump rope, open doors, climb poles and more. He also says the food was his favorite part of the whole thing. He is such a boy!

A day at Sea World was also educational. When Caitlyn asked me if dolphins were omnivores, I suggested she ask the trainer nearby. She marched up to the trainer, and in her tiny Minnie Mouse voice, said, "Excuse me. Are dolphins omnivores?"

The trainer was taken aback and laughed, "What do you mean are dolphins omnivores?"

To which, Caitlyn responded, "You know--omnivores. Do they eat plants and meat?"

The trainer told her, yes, she knew what omnivore meant, but was just surprised that Caitlyn knew. And the answer is no. Dolphins are carnivores.

True to kid form, one of their favorite moments was when a squirrel decided to approach our stroller. He got so close to them that I worried he was some deranged, rabid squirrel that intended to hop in the stroller and maul the girls. So, I did what any concerned parent would do and snapped a picture!
Twelve hours after we got to Sea World, it was time to leave, and because the day had gone so well, with no meltdowns, tantrums or fighting(amazing since there were also no naps), the travel gods decided our good fortune was due to run out.

As we made our way to the exit, the skies opened up and buckets of water came down. Instead of it putting a damper on our evening, the rain almost enhanced it. First, it felt good to have cool water washing off the sweat and grime of the day. Second, we didn't have far to go since I'd paid for premium parking, not wanting to juggle kids and stroller on the tram. Third, the kids thought it was great fun to run in the rain.

So ended another day, and I didn't even have the energy for my nightly glass of wine. That really says a lot.

Now, where were we?

If you've been worried about me, all is well. The kids did not do me in! We just got so busy that I figured I would wait until we reached the relative quiet of my mom's house to continue.

Our 3rd Disney day was spent at Disney Quest, which is probably pretty cool if your kid is older than my kids. They have virtual reality games and rides (most with a height requirement of 51", meaning even I am barely tall enough to ride), as well as some video game type things.

Caitlyn made up a song about puppy love, and Chris got to engineer a tune about never wanting to grow up. Lorelei just danced to both of them. The kids also learned how to draw Mickey Mouse, though Caitlyn got bored halfway through because her circles weren't round enough.

After a couple hours at Disney Quest, we headed to Bongo's, a Cuban restaurant at Downtown Disney. I was so proud of Chris because he tried lots of new things. He is our "chicken nuggets and fries or I'm not eating" kid, so it was a big deal for him to sample plantains. Caitlyn tried a couple of new things, but stuck to cheese pizza since she is now a plant-eater, as she calls herself. Lorelei ate it all. That child will eat anything.

After dinner, we got some jelly beans and headed down to the water to listen to the band. The kids were having a great time eating candy and dancing, and then these monks came over to watch.

I knew that Tibetan monks traveled, but I never thought they would hit up Disney World. It doesn't really seem like the type of place that would be appealing (rampant commercialized money fest that it is!), but it was interesting to watch and see what things were interesting to them. They had a guide who was translating to English, and of course, I listened. It seemed like they really enjoyed watching the water and ducks, the landscaping, the music and the energy of the area. They sat down on a bench next to us to people-watch, and they quickly became entertained by my kids.

One monk was particularly fascinated with Lorelei. He waved at her, and she blew him kisses. They played a wordless, peek-a-boo, and he watched her every move with a rapt smile that lit up his whole face. Honestly, their entire interaction was sweet and beautiful, and it was fun to watch someone else be won over by our red head. He asked, through gesture, if he could take her picture, and she ended up giving him a great big hug.

At this point, Chris, who'd been watching bugs crawl along the sidewalk, let out some exuberant karate yell and stomped on a caterpillar.

Really.

My daughter was creating a transcendental relationship that needed no words or language (with a freaking MONK who treasures nature), and here was my son, stomping to death the innocent bits of nature these monks HAD been enjoying. I was so humiliated--so much for imparting the idea that all life is sacred and special.

At this point, I hurriedly gathered up the kids, hoping that these men had not seen the massacre, and Lorelei waved good bye to her new friend. Chris got a long lecture about why we don't just stomp on bugs, and once Caitlyn figured out what we were talking about, she launched into a cryfest over the death of a caterpillar.

"But why did you kill it?" she wailed. "What about its family? That's not nice!"

She's a little protective of animals.

Anyway, kids all got calmed down, bathed and put to bed. Another mostly successful day.

Next up- a 12 hour day at Sea World, the kids who ate the world and a torrential downpour of fun.

Water Park, Disney-style

After a bit of Friday evening drama with Chris' mom (and really, what summer vacation would be complete without it--it is as expected and annoying as mosquitoes and sunburns), it felt incredible to have a stress-free day planned at a water park, especially since the temperature topped 100 degrees!

The kids and I spent half of last summer at our local water park, so a day alone with 3 kids there didn't scare me at all. It helps that Chris is kind of a wimp about a lot of water rides, so they can mostly just play happily in the kiddie areas, wave pool and lazy river.

Plus, Caitlyn and Lorelei have the coolest life jackets ever. I swear, they must have been invented by a mom with multiple kids. Normal life jackets bunch up around your kid's neck like some sort of contraction device, in a position that is neither conducive to swimming nor feeling remotely relaxed in the water. The girls' jackets are a combo of floaties and a ring, and even Lorelei can control her body enough to "swim" happily within arm's reach of me. (And yes, I'm putting the whole 'within arm's reach' disclaimer just in case anyone gets the idea that the kids are off frolicking in the pool while I lounge in a chair--who knows who reads this stuff!)

Anyway, I'd been to Blizzard Beach in high school, but obviously did not appreciate how neat it is for kids. The entire park is themed to represent a ski resort that is melting away, complete with snow-capped peaks and a chair lift.

Our first stop was the kiddie area where my little beasties had a blast on all of the slides. Here I met my next defining moment. Are Caitlyn and Chris old enough to climb to the top of the slide by themselves while Lorelei and I play in the adjacent "baby" slide area? Keeping in mind that there was a good 25 feet of pathway in a blind spot, but I would be able to watch them enter, slide and exit to the return path, I decided to let them try it. They received a 35 minute lecture on staying together, holding hands while WALKING, not talking to anyone, as well as a brief safety drill on what to do if they couldn't find me and a pop quiz to ensure they knew how to identify a life guard.

Considering the entire area was about the size of my parents' house and they were out of sight for about 10 seconds, I may have been slightly overreacting. The kids loved it, and I remember that giddy sense of budding independence I felt when I first got to do something fun by myself (Which, incidentally, was a hell of a lot more dangerous since that first memory happened when I was 5 at a ski resort when my friend Travis and I got to ski the bunny slope solo while our parents watched from the lodge).

We hit the lazy river for a good hour, and here again I marveled (yes, really. I marveled) at the fact that while Disney offers the traditional assortment of tubes for floaters, they also have tiny kid-sized tubes with bottoms for toddlers. If you haven't been to water park with a small child, you have no idea how novel and convenient that concept is, but trust me, it was worthy of the marvel.

At this point the kids and I stopped for lunch. In an effort to save $$, I packed lunch for the kids and I. My mom always did this. I hated it.

For one thing, my mom never bought the good lunch stuff. She sent us to school and the beach with bologna sandwiches, whatever type of chip was on sale (usually tortilla chips or pringles), fruit and Little Debbie snacks. I longed for fruit roll-ups, Ding-Dongs, cheetos and the little rolls of salami and cheddar that my friend Natalie brought to school.

With that in mind, I packed Uncrustable sandwiches, rainbow goldfish, chocolate chip granola bars, bananas and, wait a minute. That sounds strangely similar to the lunches I hated with some very slight tweaks. Hmm.

Oh well, I made up for it when I bought the kids a pail of ice cream. Yep, you read that right. I bought the kids a PAIL of ice cream. It was my cool mom moment of the day as I presented them with an entire sand pail filled with bits of waffle cone, cherries, strawberry sauce, hot fudge, nuts, sprinkles and soft serve.

Little do they know I made that choice because the one giant pail was cheaper than 3 individual desserts! And I'm willing to lose a little bit of cool mom luster by admitting that. They still loved it.

Our final ride of the day was a family raft ride that is supposedly the longest of its kind in the world! It took some talking to get both Caitlyn and Chris to try it, but try it they did. Caitlyn asked me before the ride if it would freak her out. I pointed out the gentle slope and easy curves of the ride, reassuring her that it would not.

Much to my dismay, about halfway through the ride, she turned to me and said, "Mama, I'm officially freaked out!" I just choked back a laugh and pulled her in my lap for the remainder of the ride.

Our day ended with happy, worn out kids who were perfectly content to climb into our giant whirlpool bath together to wash off the detritus of the day before they settled in to watch a movie.

We will definitely be adding at least one day at the Disney water parks on all future trips.

Arrival Day

It has come to my attention that my writing is more comical when I've had a glass of wine, so in the interest of entertainment, I guess I'll force myself to have some sangria during this blog session. The sacrifices I make to keep my family up-to-date on our activities! Sheesh! Maybe tomorrow night I'll have a mojito and see where that takes me.

Anyway. Arrival day.

So, after our luck with getting our car so quickly off the train, the kids and I headed to Orlando. About 15 minutes after we hit the road, despite the order to use the bathroom before we left the station, someone (the biggest kid) had to go RIGHT.NOW. Lesson learned: When traveling alone, everyone goes to the bathroom together so Mama can make sure everyone really does what they are supposed to do lest we spend our entire vacation stopping at every single restroom at Disney.

While we were stopped, we grabbed some lunch to eat on our short, albeit rather expensive, drive to Orlando via Onstar-directed toll roads.

We headed to the condo to drop off our things, and I was pleased to see we are staying about 25 yards away from Disney property. I booked the condo through Armed Forces Vacation Club, which offers unsold timeshare weeks all over the world for cheap. Our week in a one bedroom condo with a full kitchen and whirlpool bath cost around $300--not too shabby!

After the kids thoroughly inspected the room (turned on all faucets, climbed on the furniture, made sure the television worked and opened and closed all the doors numerous times and dumped their junk everywhere), we were off to Downtown Disney to . . . buy more junk.Just a little PSA. I hate plastic junky toys (a trait I likely inherited from Grammie). Loathe them, actually. In fact, on a regular basis, I go through the house and toss any toy crap I come across. My poor kids don't even know Barbie is supposed to have shoes. They must think Dr. Barbie and Fashion Barbie and all the rest have some sort of medical condition that is incompatible with shoe wearing. And that really could be true, I mean, have you seen the girl's weird high heel feet?

But, I digress.

So, Downtown Disney has a toy store where you can stuff a box with as many Disney-themed Mr. Potato Head pieces as you can cram in. AND they have another spot where you can actually build your very own working light saber (along with a whole host of Star Wars related junk). AND they have a third area where you can stuff a box with as much My Little Pony junk as you can cram in . . . and guess what? It's all Disney-themed!!!

Everything I just named falls under the heading of plastic-crap-toys-that-I-hate, but I throw aside that aversion when we are at Disney World. Didn't I say I was a sucker for Disney marketing? With a capital S?

I told the kids I would buy each of them one souvenir, and when they found out about these options, each kid wanted to do one of them. Lorelei picked Potato Head stuff, Caitlyn went for the ponies and Chris made a Darth Vader light saber.

As it turns out, each kid wanted what the other kids chose by the time we got home, but fun was had by all in the actual selection process. On the plus side, we now own Tink, pirate, Dumbo and Donald potato heads, and our My Little Ponies are decked out to the nines in princess outfits, complete with crowns, jewelry and, oh yes, shoes--4 for each outfit. Eat your heart out, Barbie. And we are all stocked up on the Force, even if it does come from the dark side (I lobbied hard for a Yoda saber.)

After the toy adventure, we headed over to T-Rex Cafe for dinner with the dinos. The place is just like the Aquarium restaurant or Rainforest Cafe, but there are dinosaurs, wooly mammoths and giant insects everywhere. The place is intense--loud, colorful, larger than life, and, with a meteor shower that goes off every 20 minutes, a bit overwhelming for the younger set.

Caitlyn got very quiet (her typical nervous reaction), Lorelei cried at least once, and even Chris was a bit unerved at one point. But, overall, it was fun. And by fun, I mean I'm in no hurry to do it again. Once was good. There were some defining moments I hadn't considered when I planned a big trip alone with 3 kids. For instance, what do you do when one kid has to go to the bathroom (and yes, a lot of moments center around bathroom issues!) in the middle of the meal? Is Chris really old enough to sit alone in the middle of a crowded restaurant while I take Caitlyn and Lorelei (who is decidedly NOT old enough to be left in the care of her nearly 8 year old brother)? First, the obvious answer is that you do not sit down in a restaurant without making all the kids pee, under threat of losing a new toy or not having dessert, if you must. Second, yes, Chris can choose to stay at the table or come with us, though if he stays, I ask a nearby mom to keep an eye on him and alert the waiter!

At this point, the day pretty much becomes a hazy chain of events that eventually ended with kids in bed, a heavenly shower (much needed after the overnight train ride), a glass of wine and a long conversation in my head about why exactly this was a good idea, a common refrain that has often repeated itself over the last few days!

Riding the Rails

My next bright idea was to take the Auto Train to Florida instead of driving. The longest solo road trip I've done with the kids is 600 miles, and that distance took an entire day. It is doable, but I was a bit leery of an overnight stop with 3 kids at a highway hotel. When I found out about the Auto Train, I was thrilled. Amtrak loads up your car, and then they transport you and your vehicle to Sanford, FL overnight. Meals are included, as are snacks, soft drinks, wine and movies. And the best part is that someone else is driving the 900 miles. All for about the same cost as a hotel, gas and meals if I drove myself. Sold!

We arrived at the station around 12:30 for a 2:30 boarding time, and we killed time watching them load cars, making lots of trips to the bathrooms (with 3 kids, someone always needs to go!) and playing on the tiny playground.

Once on board the train, Chris and Caitlyn quickly settled in with their video games. Caitlyn got a Leapster 2 as an early birthday present, and so far, it is working out great for long trips. I gotta say, as much as I hate how technology is taking over her generation, it was nice to have the two of them occupied.

Lorelei, on the other hand, was an absolute bear! She woke up at 6:30 that morning, and did not take a nap at all. The combination of no nap, new molars and a delay that kept us from departing for 2.5 hours after our scheduled 4 pm departure made for one cranky kid. I felt bad for her, but at least all the passengers were informed that since the train was half empty, we could move anywhere we liked. Unfortunately, the lady behind us preferred to stay put and just complain about the whining. I wanted to turn around and tell her, "Look, woman. The conductor said you could move to any car you want to. Me? I'm her mom, so I'm stuck here, but why don't you take your complaints and get out of here? I'm doing everything I can!"

5 pm rolled around, and even though we weren't rolling anywhere, we were still able to head to the dining car for dinner. I was surprised at the quality of the food. It wasn't great, but it was comparable to Applebee's. And the complimentary carafe of white wine on our table took the edge off my worn-thin nerves that resulted from trying to console Miss Grumpy for 4 hours. The kids all perked up with their chicken tenders, mac and cheese and veggies, and they even consented to try wax beans with the result being that they like them!


After dinner, we tromped back to our seats, and lo and behold, the train began to move!! As we left the station, Lorelei cheered and shouted, "Mickey!!! Coming!!!" Chris didn't talk since he was engrossed in his game, and Caitlyn stood at the window and solemnly waved, "Good-bye, Virginia. I love you, and I'll miss you until July." Great excitement over seeing Belle ensued once I reminded her that Disney lay at the other end of the track.

Around 7, Lorelei hit full scale tantrum mode. She was utterly inconsolable, and I resorted to holding her tightly against me as I rocked and swayed with the train. We stood up and walked a bit, and slowly her screams quieted into the sobbing hiccup cries of a baby who has worn herself out. Blissfully, after nearly an hour of screaming while most of our car was at the 7pm dinner, she fell asleep in my tingling, sleepy arms. I carefully laid her down, and she slept soundly until 4 am, when she woke up for a few brief minutes of toddler conversation.

Chris and Caitlyn fell asleep around 9 pm, stretched out across 2 seats apiece. I curled around the bit of our row that Lorelei left and was able to sleep for about an hour at a time. The mama bear instinct would not let me sleep too soundly due to the fear of strangers snatching my kids from their chairs, though where they would go on a moving train in the middle of the night, I don't know. Then again, the constant waking might have had more to do with the fact that it is hard to get too comfortable when the two semi-reclined positions I had available to me either put my legs to sleep or placed hard metal directly into the small of my back. Maybe next time, I'll spring for a sleeper car.

The next morning brought an early wake-up and continental breakfast in the dining car. Since we were going to be 2.5 hours late arriving, the kids and I got to watch a movie in the lounge, and the girls colored some gorgeous works of art with the awesome princess crayons our friend, Jenny, brought them for the trip.
When we finally pulled into the Sanford, FL station, we were all more than ready to put our train adventure behind us! We clambered down from the car and shuffled into a hot, crowded waiting room to watch for our vehicle. Apparently, karma felt I needed a break after the long prior day with Lorelei because our car was one of the first 20 or so off the train! In no time, we were headed down the road to Orlando, where Mickey and pals await our crew.

Next up--junky plastic Disney toys, dining with dinos and our steal of a deal on lodging!

Mission: Insanity

Back in December, as I was planning the summer (and yes, I plan excessively early. Big deal!), I got the bright idea to take the kids to Disney World while Jason was studying for the bar exam. I figured things could either be hectic and crazy at home, or things could be hectic and crazy at the happiest place on Earth.

And folks, "crazy" is the operative word here. Who, in their right mind takes 3 kids to Disney World for a week by herself?

Ahem. ME!!

Yes, I've tackled NYC with two toddlers, I've hiked miles with a baby strapped to my back, and I've camped in the back country when it was so cold my toothpaste froze (sans kids), but I felt the need to up the ante for Summer 2010--the summer in which Jason is glued to the library for 20 hours a day! This is the summer of the insane Disney trip a la me.

Down to the nitty-gritty:
Who will be there?
Me--the nutty mama who loves to travel and is always up for a challenge. Loves Disney magic, planning and playing with the kids. Cries when she walks down Main Street and is a total sucker for Disney marketing genius. Hates delays, changes to the plan (ha!!) and whining. Must have a glass of wine in the evening and yummy food.

Chris- almost 8. Loves playing video games, teasing his sisters, eating fun kid food and knowing the answer. Grins when you mention Mickey and is a sucker for a swimming pool. Hates walking, heat, waiting and big rides. Must have a sword or weapon at all times and tends to be a bit whiney.

Caitlyn- turning 4 on the trip. Loves princesses, pretending, Dumbo and Belle. In awe of the castle and dances when you mention Disney. Hates being teased, boat rides with drops and meat ( a new revelation). Must have her pin necklace and "dark ride" flashlight and is always ready to jump into a princess pose.

Lorelei- almost 2. Loves shrieking, her brother and sister, eating and any sort of thrill. Likes to run, hop, dance, skip away from Mama while giggling. Hates being restrained, told "no," and being left out. Must have anything and everything the big kids have.

Oh, and Grammie. I talked her into joining us by using words like "special," "fun," "memorable," and "magical." I just left out words like "tantrum," "crowded," "exhausting," and "insanity." She'll forgive me.

Grammie loves Belle, seeing the kids, Disney magic and Pina Colavas. Rides Splash Mountain even though she detests the drop. Hates whining, clutter and junky plastic toys. Must have a cute bag for the park (she bought *another* new one) and requisite amount of protein in her system at all times.


The plan:
Spend 5 days solo in Orlando before Grammie joins us. Take the kids to water parks, Downtown Disney, Campfire Sing-a-long, movies, Disney Quest and Sea World before Grammie gets here. Once Grammie arrives, start hitting the major theme parks as we switch from a condo to a Disney resort. Celebrate Caitlyn's birthday. Resist the urge to splurge on Discovery Cove tickets. Eat out a lot. Drive to Houston.

Hmm, sounds exciting, right? Fun? Nuts? Scary? Sure to be full of interesting stories? Probably all of those!

I'm going to try to update frequently since Jason is feeling left out back in Virginia. Plus, when I'm carted off to the funny farm, it will be nice to have a record of how I got there.

Next up? 3 kids and 1 Mama take the train from VA to FL . . . or, A Saga of 4 hour delays, the child who didn't nap for 12 hours, how to clear a train car and other tales of mayhem and hilarity. Stay tuned.

The View from the Backseat

We do a lot of things a bit differently, and some of those things certainly raise eyebrows among friends and family. Not that it matters to me, since we make what we think are the best, safest choices for our babies, but one choice in particular seems to garner a LOT of public opinion, so I thought I'd explain it here.

Our kids are extended rear-facers when it comes to car seats. Shocked that can cause a lot of talk? Kids facing backwards in a car seat past the typical age of 1? Really? Yes, actually--it seems that many people think that it is dangerous, strange and something they absolutely must comment on (even random strangers in the grocery store parking lot like to tell us our car seats are installed incorrectly).

First, I guess I should put some numbers out there. The old advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics was that babies could be turned forward-facing at one year AND 20 pounds (which, unfortunately some people misread to mean OR and turned babies at less than a year, but who weighed 20 lbs.) The new advice from the AAP is that if "a car safety seat accommodates children rear facing to higher weights, for optimal protection, the child should remain rear facing until reaching the maximum weight for the car safety seat, as long as the top of the head is below the top of the seat back."

I'll include a bunch of links about why kids should stay rear-facing until at least 2 years old, but the bottom line is that it is a much, much safer way for kids to ride. One study demonstrated that kids under 2 who ARE rear-facing are 75% less likely to die or sustain serious injury in a car accident--those are odds I want working on my side, not against me.

Caitlyn stayed rear-facing until 2, and then we moved her back to rear-facing when she was a bit over 2.5. She stayed that way until she was 3.5, and the only reason we flipped her forward was because she started to get motion sickness. Because she only weighs 30 pounds and her car seat safely rearfaces up to 33 pounds, she could probably stay rear-facing for another year. It was certainly a hard choice for us, but when we looked at the studies on safety, the MOST critical ages to remain rear-facing are kids under 2, although it is a safer option for all kids, as long as they are in a seat that can accommodate that position. Had she not stared getting sick in the car, you can bet that little girl would still be riding rear-facing.

Lorelei is almost 2, and we have no plans to turn her forward anytime soon. She weighs around 22 pounds, and her car seat can also safely rear-face until 33 pounds. She is happy and comfortable in that position, and most importantly, she is safe.

Comments that we hear all the time are:

Aren't they uncomfortable that way? No, they seem to be just fine! It seems to be much easier to sleep in a rear-facing car seat since their heads do not flop forward.

Don't you have to turn them when their legs touch the seat? Won't their legs break in a crash? No! There is not a single documented incident of a child breaking a leg in an accident due to a rear-facing car seat. My kids prop their feet on the seat, bend their legs or fold them.

My doctor said I needed to turn my baby at 10 months because of his weight. Isn't that right? No, your doctor is a moron, and apparently failed to pay attention in anatomy. The reason there is an age and weight guideline is because of how an infant's neck muscles and ligaments develop and strengthen. Even if a baby meets the weight guideline, he is just not strong enough to ride safely forward-facing. And the AAP's own guidelines recognize that.

Car seat manufacturer's now make seats that allow rear-facing up to 45 pounds! In other countries, such as Sweden, this is the norm, and it is much safer for kids. Because it is not the norm in our country, you will certainly get strange looks if you choose to keep your kids rear-facing past one year old. However, you'll know that you are keeping your child safer.

I'm not trying to convert anyone (well, maybe I am), but it is a subject I feel strongly about. I always advocate doing whatever works for your family, but see if some of these links don't give you pause.

Here are some of my favorite resources:

March article from Pediatrics

Child Passenger Safety

YouTube Video- Crash test comparison

Joel's Journey- What can happen

And just so you know, the girls are going to be harnessed in a 5-point harness for a LONG time, too! Adult seat belts are not meant for little bodies, and our girls are tiny. I'm sure Caitlyn will be mad when she gets to elementary school, and she is still harnessed in a car seat, while her friends get to ride in boosters or without any seat whatsoever. Oh well. There is a huge body of evidence as to what is safest for her and Lorelei when it comes to car seats, and THAT is what I care about.

And here is one reason why. (Warning--you will probably cry. I've seen it several times and I cry still.)

One crazy summer officially kicks off!

Chris arrived on Tuesday night around midnight, and our crazy, hectic summer has officially commenced. He was thrilled to be here, and we are thrilled to have him. Little does he know that summer is about to get kicked into high gear with the long list of exciting events we have planned. Now, before anyone accuses us of being a "Disneyland Dad" type of family when Chris is with us, just read back over the last few years--we are ALWAYS on the go, trying to enjoy our kids and show them the world!!

Since Jason is incredibly busy studying for the bar exam, we have to cram as much fun into the weekends as we can. Of course, during the week, the kids and I will be embarking on our park and beach adventures without Daddy. During the next two weeks, we are heading to Luray Caverns, Great Wolf Lodge, the beach, Colonial Williamsburg, the park, the pool and out for as many bike rides as we can all stand.

Our upcoming schedule includes a trip to Florida on the Auto Train, Sea World, Disney World (of course!), Destin, and then on to Houston. In Houston, we will visit the beach, water park, see some movies, take in "Wicked," celebrate the girls' birthdays, the birth of our country, peruse some museums, visit with friends and who knows what else?

At the end of July (that's right, we are only halfway done!), we will head back to Virginia to meet our movers, and then we set off on a cross-country road trip that is sure to go down in Marquez family history as one of our wildest, most ambitious adventures yet. We've planned stops in Chicago, Dunes National Lake Shore, Amish country, Mill Run to see Falling Water (Frank Lloyd Wright's most famous creation), Badlands National Park, Mt. Rushmore, Sturgis, Lake Erie, Glacier National Park, the Museum of the Rockies and so much more!

Oh, but wait--there's more! Once we finally get to Washington and get settled in our new house, we are heading out on an Alaskan cruise, where I will partake in the mother of all massages to unwind from this chaotic summer. :)

Will I have time to update here? I hope so, but you may not hear from me again for a while. And if you don't hear from me by September, I may very well be checked into some quiet respite home to recuperate from the madness!

Mudder's Day

I think this year was the best Mother's Day yet! After sleeping in until 8am (heavenly, by the way!), I was woken up by cute little giggles and snuggly hugs. Caitlyn hurdled the footboard of the bed, and Lorelei scampered to my side with pleas of, "Up? Up? Upppppp!" Caitlyn shouted, "Happy Muddder's Day!!!!" as soon as she pounced on the bed, sounding for all the world like she just came from Jersey.

Jason and I just bought two bikes and a bike trailer, which we agreed were to be our Mother's and Father's Day presents, so I didn't expect to get gifts, too! First, Caitlyn made me an absolutely precious card that boldly proclaimed she loves me a "bunch." Of course, the declaration was accompanied by a bunch of grapes made from fingerprints--cute, right? She also stamped a collection of things she says I love--flowers, hearts, stars and a few random animals. This card is going in the hope chest, and I will keep it forever.

The girls got me a Virginia keychain to remind me of our beloved home of three years once we move to our new home, Washington. It was so cute hearing them tell me all about it. Lorelei liked the bird (cardinal), and Caitlyn liked the shape of Virginia.

Jason also got me a gift in the form of the CD by Court Yard Hounds. I like to listen to music when I'm writing, and it is ideal for that task!

We went to breakfast, and then had to do a bit of shopping for the girls. I stuck to the very specific list I'd made of things they needed, and though I was sorely tempted by the adorable mermaid line at Gymboree, I'm pleased to say I did not succumb to consumerism.

It was a lovely, relaxed day, and Jason and I had a child-free dinner once the girls were in bed. We ordered from Bone Fish Grill, one of our favorite restaurants, and I completely indulged with Bang Bang Shrimp, their delicious house salad, wood-grilled shrimp and scallops with haricot verts and a giant Macadamia nut brownie. Yum--I want to eat the whole meal all over again!

No.

Both of the girls have strong personalities, but each of them manifests strong traits in different ways.

Caitlyn is mischievous, playful and a total know-it-all (yes, I know. Big surprise--I got mine!). When she was just learning to explore on her own, she would push the limits and climb up somewhere she wasn't supposed to be, like the back of the couch. If you told her to get down, she'd look you in the eye, slowly continue to climb and giggle.

Lorelei is just as mischievous, playful and a total know-it-all, but in a shockingly straightforward way. Lorelei also likes to climb, explore and push the limits. If you tell her to get down, sometimes she does. And other times, she looks right at you and says, "No." It isn't a mean "no" or a whiney "no." It is a very matter-of-fact statement. And actually, it is kind of funny sometimes because it doesn't sound at all like the typical two year old protest.

Coping with the strong personalities of the girls can be challenging. In general, they are very well-behaved and usually get so many compliments from friends and strangers alike for their behavior. However, just like all kids, they have their wild days and crazy moments. I try to remind myself that the traits they demonstrate that are sometimes difficult are really remarkable traits I WANT them to have as they get older.

I want them to be unafraid to correct someone who is wrong. I want them to blaze their own trail, challenge the status quo and stick up for themselves. I don't want them to be afraid to try new things or say "no" or go their own way.

Sometimes I just wish they could bottle up those traits and save them for the rest of the world, while giving their mama a bit of a break!

Of Bikes and Beds

Albert Einstein explained relativity as follows: "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

I'll follow his example with my own: "Sit with a child throwing a tantrum for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Play with or teach your child for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

Being a mama is all about peaks and valleys. The days when my children are grumpy and whiney seem to drag by, while the special moments never seem to last long enough. The days when I could snuggle them as long as I wanted to flew by, and now I am grateful when they collapse into my lap for more than a brief hug and kiss.

It seems like only last week that Caitlyn was brand new, slowly inducting me into this life as a mama. It seems like days ago that Lorelei buried her tiny head against my chest in contented slumber. Their baby days raced by, and sometimes it seems like I put them to bed as toddlers, only to have them wake up the next morning as little girls.

Yesterday, Caitlyn learned to ride a bike with training wheels. She looked so adorable decked out in her pink helmet, perched on her sparkly pink bike, and she was so proud of herself. She was tickled, well, pink! But, oh, how my mama heart pounded, watching her wheel away from me atop that little bike. It didn't matter that Jason was right beside her, or that I was just a few feet from her--something about her navigating her own path, on her own bike, felt like she was slipping away, just the tiniest little bit. My heart swelled with pride, but it also stung, just a bit, to see how fleeting these days really are.

Last night, Lorelei slept in a toddler bed for the first time. My last little baby is not really a little baby anymore, and she proved it when she climbed up in her bed, her tiny little bed without the safety of rails and slats, and went to sleep. I know sounds silly, but it felt like she is now just a bit more vulnerable, a bit more out there and a bit more independent. She is old enough to have earned a bit of trust, and she's taken one tiny step towards the day when she will no longer need me to protect her every step (though my mama self will never, ever stop doing it anyway). But, she wasn't afraid, and she did exactly as we asked, snuggling down in her covers (with duck, babies, bap, book and water!) with a smug little smile of a tiny girl who is excited to be big.

Two big steps for two sweet girls in one single day. Pride and wistfulness at the same time. Maybe we should stick to one big milestone a day, for my sake!

Music to my ears

Little girls come with a lot of drama. They screech, squeal, fight and pretend in a way that little boys just don't. Things that haven't ever phased either of the boys are a HUGE deal for both Lorelei and Caitlyn, and there are days when I'm shocked that both of the girls make it through the day without a serious sister-induced injury.

Some days they fight like cats and dogs over everything from who got the "better" bowl of cheerios (and I have no idea what makes one bowl more desirable!) to who looked at whom and who was playing with a piece of paper first.

But then there are days like today, and I am reminded that they love just as fiercely as they fight.

Lorelei woke up from her nap in a grumpy mood. She could only be consoled by laying her duck pillow in my lap and rocking with me. Caitlyn came over, and started to rub Lorelei's back gently. Then, she started singing a sweet song to Lorelei, one she just made up as she went along. I'd give anything to recall all of the words, but part of it went like this:

"You are my sister, sweetheart, and I love you under the twinkling stars. Our whole family is wonderful, and I'll always take care of you when you say you are blue."

It just melted my Mama heart to see them together. I know they are going to have days where they will drive each other crazy. But, I also know they really will always take care of each other, too.

Raising sisters is amazing so far, and I'd be willing to bet it only gets better.

Pierced Ears

When Caitlyn was little, Jason adamantly opposed piercing her ears. I knew I didn't want them done as a baby, but I had no strong feelings about it otherwise.

Of course, neither of us was counting on Caitlyn's ability to so easily communicate what she wanted, and just a couple months shy of 2 years old, she began begging for "earwings." Specifically, she wanted monkey and frog earrings. I finally gave in to her insistence, and she and I went to get them done. As childhood rituals go, it was not particularly traumatic, but she did cry. I expected that, but what I did not expect was the nightly battle when it was time to clean her ears.

I swore that there would be no rush to have Lorelei's ears done because I was not in any hurry to repeat that experience!

Nonetheless, kids (at least mine) seem to have their own agenda and timeline for these sorts of things, and the other day when we were out shopping, Lorelei began asking for "earwings." The big difference is that this time around there was a sibling there to coax her along.

"Mama! Lorelei wants earrings like me and you! See--Lorelei, do you want earrings?"

"Yesh. Earwings."

"Seeeeee! She wants them!!!"

Not in any hurry to go through with the actual piercing, I figured I could buy some time if I was straightforward with my little redhead.

"Lorelei, it hurts a bit when you get earrings."

"Hurts?"

"Yes, just a bit. Do you still want them?"

She thought for a moment, rubbing her cute little ears. Then, to my surprise, she screeched, "Yeeaaaah!"

So, with Caitlyn's encouragement, Lorelei got her ears pierced. Caitlyn stood next to her, and reassured her that it would only hurt for a minute, though Lorelei was unconcerned about the advice. She picked out little pink earrings, though Caitlyn lobbied hard for tiny purple flowers. She played with the earring gun when the kind girl showed her how it worked, and she sat still while her ears were marked. She never even squirmed when the girl got the gun in position, and then . . . .

"WAAAHHHHHHHHH!" She flipped her tiny body over, and buried her face in my neck. I told the girl I'd walk around and calm Lorelei down before we did the other ear. As soon as I slid out of the chair, Lorelei picked her face up, and said, "More earwing?" as she patted the unpierced ear.

And just like that, she was ok, and allowed us to do the other ear. She cried again, but only for a moment before wanting to get down to pick out some new earrings with Caitlyn. I let each girl pick out earrings for later, and that was that.

Lorelei is so proud of her earrings, and she shows them off to everyone. She likes to look at them in the mirror, and she declared them to be very pretty.

And the cleaning? The epic battle scenes I was afraid of repeating?

Not an issue. In fact, Lorelei runs to get the cleaning solution when she wakes up in the morning and before bed at night--all that worry for nothing!

So, without further ado, Lorelei's pierced ears:

*Please note the baby, the paci and the duck that MUST be present at all times!

Still Sad

I pride myself on being a strong, independent, take charge kind of woman. I like to do things for myself, and I relish accomplishing a big job that others might need help with. One of my constant refrains is, "I've got it." Whether "it" is 10 bags of groceries, tiling a floor, organizing a trip, cleaning up a mess or lifting something twice the size of me . . . I've got it, I don't need help, just back off! I don't even like for other people to make me a sandwich or fix me a drink.

My mom is exactly the same way, so I'm sure some of my quirks are either genetic or learned. (By the way, her favorite phrase is also, "I've got it!" AND just recently, she hung an entire kitchen's worth of cabinets by herself AND she also doesn't like for other people to make her a sandwich or fix her a drink--although she will let me on occasion.)

And I think this attitude of strength is precisely why I am having such a hard time since Steve passed away. I cannot stand to feel down about things, and even at the hardest times in my life, my attitude has been that I just need to get up and keep going. It is who I am.

But this loss still hits me right in the gut. I am so, so sad about all of the things my girls will miss out on. Yesterday, Lorelei learned how to really throw a ball. For such a little thing, she has a pretty decent arm--Steve would be so proud of her, with her little red pony tail and purple golf ball that she learned to fling across the room. If he could see her, he'd stop what he was doing to play "pitch" for as long as she wanted to.

And Caitlyn, oh Caitlyn. Not a day goes by that she doesn't talk about her PawPaw. We were in the car today, and all of a sudden she asked me if I remembered riding in the boat last summer with PawPaw. "Uncle Joey was surfing, and he was so silly! And PawPaw let me push the button that made a beep, and I loved that, " she practically squealed from the back seat. "I wish PawPaw could be there at the lake this summer. I'm so sad I can't see him anymore."

And me. I prize logic and reason above many other things in this world, and Steve pretty much epitomized the meanings of those words. Which is why, anytime I bought a car, took a job or faced a frustrating circumstance, I sought his advice. I deal with a fair bit of crazy that stems from Jason's ex-wife and her family, and for the past couple of summers, I've been in Houston when some situation arises that sends Nutty up to a whole new level. And every time, when I was irritated over the utter lack of both logic and reason, Steve was there to talk to. I miss that. And frankly, with a new ridiculous issue cropping up, I'm a little pissed that life must constantly prove over and over again that it isn't fair. I've lost a steady, strong source of calm and fairness, but the never-ending babble of illogical fallacies and hubris continues?? Thanks, universe.

I guess I really thought by this point in the game, I'd be able to go a day without being reminded of this empty spot in my heart. I never thought I'd still be tearing up when I hear a song that reminds me of Steve. I sure didn't think I'd be in a spot where my 3 year old would feel the need to tell me that it's ok because PawPaw will always love me.

I just never thought I'd still be so sad. I guess maybe I just never thought about how easy it is to be strong when you have such amazing people standing beside you in your life. I can't imagine how much more terrible I'd be at this whole process without my mom, my girlies and Jason!

Singing Songs

Both of our girls love to sing, but, unfortunately for us, they also both inherited our rather uninspiring vocal genes. If you saw my performance as Nanette in "No, No Nanette," then you know what I'm talking about!

Caitlyn's current favorite song is "Beauty and the Beast." She amazes me with her memory for song lyrics, and I'm pretty sure she has just about every Disney song memorized. But, don't pigeonhole her yet--she also loves everything by Michael Jackson, "All the Single Ladies," Jason Mraz and the Twilight soundtrack.

We taught her the traditional kid songs, too, but she likes to put her own little,odd twist on them. For example, "Rock-a-by, Baby" quickly became "Rock-a-by, Rat" in which she sings the word "rat" with croaking emphasis.

Lorelei likes to stretch her vocal cords, too. When she is not screeching or demanding something, she likes to twirl in a circle and sing, "Right here . . . now," which for the unindoctrinated, is a close version of a High School Musical Song.

Last week, we were out shopping, and it was getting perilously close to nap time. Lorelei started to get fussy, so I was trying to distract her by singing little songs (very, very quietly so no one else could hear me!). When I got to the lullaby section of my concert, I quietly crooned, "Rock-a-by . . . " at which point Lorelei interrupted me.

"RAT!" She then collapsed in a heap of giggles.

So, its official. I'm raising two odd little ducks. But, I wouldn't trade them!

And, just so you can see that I'm not exaggerating the musical "gift" the girls have, here's a little taste of their singing:

Disney With Chris

Shock and awe---it's another Disney post! :)

Of course, this trip was special (as all of them are!) because it was the first time Chris has ever been to Disney World. He did go to DisneyLAND several times before he was 2, but 1.) he doesn't remember it, and 2.)Disney WORLD is much, much better.

It was an amazing trip with lots of fun meals, priceless memories and exciting days. Here are a few pics: